A poet once said, “writer’s block, writer’s block, writer’s block”…
That is what I feel like lately. So much I want to say, so many feelings that need to be put on virtual paper with virtual ink. Yet, my mind thinks, and my hands don’t translate. Perhaps it will pass…
* AM *
In life there are so many worries that consume each and every day of our life…
Will I pass my clases?!
Do I have enough money to pay the bills at the end of the month?!
Do people like me?!
Am I a good Muslim?!
Have I caused anybody pain today?!
Will I go to Heaven?!
And many other worries that can pop up due to our daily circumstances.
One thing I have learned from it all, is we must try to live in the moment. Not to say that we do not care about our future, or should not feel a bit of grief over the wrong things we have done in our life, but we have to live for here and now, and now live in the PAST or try to live in a possible FUTURE. We are alive, here and now. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow has not yet come, today is at our feet.
So let us put our trust in GOD, and live each moment to the best of our abilities.
From the first time I saw your face,
I knew that you would never allow yourself to be disgraced.
My sister, you are stronger than I could ever be,
From my blindness, your beauty within has opened my eyes for me to see.
God has created you as a sign for all to witness,
Without your presence this world would feel un-blessed.
I am just a man, struggling to understand your strength,
For within I am weak, and at societies pressures, I break.
There is something that many people have never known about me, and it is not a subject which is usually brought up when kicking it with the homies, or having a conversation with co-workers or classmates. But it is nothing I have to hide, so I am going to keep it real and as my boy Preach says, just let it go.
There was a point in my life in which I had given up on life, and although I was alive, breathing, healthy, and not a scratch on my body, but I was dead on the inside. Life for me had no purpose, no hope, and no worth any longer. I had literally giving up, and the only way out was to check out. But there were a few things that kept me hanging on, and pushed me to get help from a close friend, from my mother, and from a professional. Perhaps then I had not given up, but things were very, very dim at that point in my life. I knew God wanted me to make it out, and the sign was the hope He placed in front of my eyes.
Not to drag on, but yeah, things were bad for me for a period of time. I would say, during its most difficult moments, it was about a year long, with about 2 – 3 years to recover. Now that I think of it, I am not really that old, so wow, that did happen at a young age. But I guess that’s life, Ce La Vie…
Nevertheless, my point in writing all this was not to rant and rave about how bad my life was, or could have been. Rather, I made a promise to myself when I was going through all my ordeals, that I would NEVER GIVE UP on life, on myself, or on those around me. Yeah, it took me a while to get over some things, and I had a lot to work out, some of which I am still working on, but God helped me, and I promised myself that I would not take the blessing lightly. NEVER GIVE UP was and still remains my motto in life. I continue to fail at things on a daily basis, and so does every human being on this Earth. We are not perfect, far from it in fact, and we make mistakes all the time. The difference lies in those who allow their next mistake to be their worst, and that can happen by making the mistake of losing HOPE.
All I can say is, I cannot give up, and failure is no longer an option.
A LOSER IS NOT ONE WHO HAS TRIED AND FAILED, BUT A LOSER IS ONE WHO REFUSES TO TRY IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I always feel like, as human beings, perhaps more frequently as Muslims, we are living between two states. Especially, living in a western country, and struggling every day to maintain a balance, as Islam calls upon us to do.
Seems we are constantly living between this life and the next…
Between love and hate,
Between life and death,
Between lonliness and being alone,
Between belief and disbelief,
Between wealth and poverty,
Between ignorance and understanding,
Between laughing and crying,
Between a lot and a little,
Between success and failure,
Between binging and purging,
Between sin and repentance,
Between light and dark,
Between the hand and the heart,
Between the lock and the load,
Between wining and losing,
Between God’s love and lack thereof.
* AM *
1. Organize my studying schedule
2. Make a studying schedule before I organize it
3. Clean and Organize Office
4. Clean and organize bedroom
5. Keep office and bedroom organized
6. Keep a daily and weekly reading schedule
7. Spend more time in contemplation and reflection
8. Try my best to be more productive
9. Spend quality time with friends and family
10. Try to keep up with 1 – 9
* AM *
Ok, so the group names sounds wierd… Ya Hu…. but, they sound cool, which is I guess what counts. Hit me up with feedback in the comments section. I would like to know what poeple think of the video.
* AM *
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